Work: Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the...

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 126

You deserved it 3 297

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 510

You deserved it 3 844

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 052

You deserved it 4 843

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 17:37 - Australia - Engadine

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 403

You deserved it 1 834

By corn - 03/06/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 288

You deserved it 3 295

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 625

You deserved it 6 645

By kellb123 - 18/12/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 507

You deserved it 2 571

By poolboy - 14/04/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 215

You deserved it 9 280

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 76

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 501

You deserved it 9 732

By Teach - 31/03/2015 07:40 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 2 538

Bano360 25

Friday 31 May 2013 12:47

Main reason I do not want to have kids. 4 siblings is enough.

sleepwalker13 25

Friday 31 May 2013 12:49

Kids these days have no manners

Comments

Bano360 25

Friday 31 May 2013 12:47

Main reason I do not want to have kids. 4 siblings is enough.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Friday 31 May 2013 12:59

The way your kids turn out is up to you as a parent, it's not hard to understand that.

fishstick557 14

Friday 31 May 2013 18:00

Why didn't you move

MichellinMan 20

Friday 31 May 2013 22:16

It'd be your fault if they turned out like little *****.

tjv3 10

Saturday 1 June 2013 4:12

See kids today have no respect. They have no respect because their parents have no respect.

sleepwalker13 25

Friday 31 May 2013 12:49

Kids these days have no manners

Bakarra 22

Friday 31 May 2013 13:12

Parents have a big role in this as well. On another note, this is why I don't use public pools

allie2590 31

Friday 31 May 2013 14:08

I'm sure kids have always been taking dumps/pissing where they're not supposed to, not just "these days."

Wizardo 33

Friday 31 May 2013 12:50

So the kid wanted to be an ingredient of a massive poo stew and be marinated in the juices of someone else's faeces and everyone else's griminess... good luck.

cmayer 20

Saturday 1 June 2013 0:24

Wow you made me actually gag..

MsConfusedd 27

Friday 31 May 2013 12:51

At least he peed on our feet which were underwater.... he could've peed on your head

Bakarra 22

Friday 31 May 2013 13:10

That's the silver lining to this story? That's just sad...

Danielle7994 18

Friday 31 May 2013 13:11

The fml says OP was standing "at" the shallow end, not "in". He/She was probably standing on the cement. That child is purely evil lol.

MsConfusedd 27

Friday 31 May 2013 13:38

17- true but even so of all places to be peed on, feet are probably the least horrifyingly awful

isallwaysme 27

Friday 31 May 2013 12:52

a mentally challenged kid pooped his pants at a pool here, then slipped and landed in it. making it shoot out is pants. i feel your pain.

profoundkisses 18

Friday 31 May 2013 12:54

Kids these days

Squirrel1256 15

Friday 31 May 2013 17:35

I could understand if it was an accident for the first kid, but the second kid should be bannned from the pool. Maybe then he would learn.

truth_teller23 11

Friday 31 May 2013 18:24

I'm pretty sure kids have been pooping and peeing in pools since the invention of pools. The child who peed on OP's feet needs to be taught by his parents.