Love, Sex and Intimacy: Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm... - FML

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 055

You deserved it 8 960

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 898

You deserved it 7 107

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Spicy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 690

You deserved it 17 884

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 890

You deserved it 2 543

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 647

You deserved it 4 730

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 624

You deserved it 36 585

Countdown

By unsatisfying - 28/10/2010 05:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 517

You deserved it 15 568

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 765

By Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 544

You deserved it 24 372

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 753

You deserved it 89 076

Watcha doin'?

By DamnThatsHarsh - 16/10/2009 18:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 422

You deserved it 4 347

Next

Top comments

BrandOldDucky 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 4:46

Wow. Step up your sex game bro...

Bauer_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:16

Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!

Comments

viadomus815 0

Friday 22 May 2009 23:35

and YDI for not watching lost.

JENNYBABYY 0

Monday 25 May 2009 6:51

lmao i would do the same. lost is AMAZING

jake1246 0

Friday 12 June 2009 6:41

I'm a dude, but i gotta side with the chick on this one. LOST is the shit

ravar5 0

Friday 14 August 2009 10:04

fyl but LOST is awesome, sorry but she did the right thing

timothyround2 0

Monday 17 August 2009 6:25

wow.... That is bullshit... I hate when you are fooling around for a long time and feel that pressure about to blow and then she has to go... Last g/f did that to me like 4 times..

StrangeSpider 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 0:33

should have just told her to get a DVR and watch that crap later. or tell her to give you another 20 seconds.

popoman 0

Friday 11 September 2009 16:07

FINISH ON HER FACE!!! That's what she's subtly telling you with that "Lost" comment.

phara_fml 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 21:05

I would skip sex for LOST any day... It's not even fair how amazing that show is.

Ayselen 0

Friday 15 January 2010 3:26

congrats, a TV show is more entertaing than you.

rOBboCOp 0

Friday 5 February 2010 6:23

i wouldve held her tight and be like "noooooooooooo" ; )

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 297

You deserved it 13 466

Today, I found out that my creepy-ass stalker ex-boyfriend has been telling everyone that my two year-old daughter is his. Not only have we been broken up for more than 8 years. I haven’t spoken to him since, and I have no idea why he’s doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 49

The Top

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 592

Today, I got a bill for $62.70 because my company gave my last work car to some idiot who doesn't like to pay the toll road fees. They never took me off the registration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 111

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 179

You deserved it 3 378

Today, my sister found and read my journal. My first entry talked about how I shaved my ass for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 394

You deserved it 2 764

Today, I came home to yet another kitten. My girlfriend swore to me this would never happen again. When I reminded her of her promise, she told me the kitten will be staying, and she wants me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 904

You deserved it 1 135

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 531

You deserved it 19 897