Work: Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she...

By fuck you, tasha - 24/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 264

You deserved it 8 633

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Same thing different taste

By Almostfunny - 16/03/2011 13:01 - United States

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 353

You deserved it 52 229

By fuckel4 - 01/07/2016 20:12 - United States - El Dorado

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 520

You deserved it 5 290

By Anyonexx0 - 14/04/2015 18:15 - United States - Washington

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 785

You deserved it 3 775

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 22:03

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 222

By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/01/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 106

You deserved it 8 387

Beyond help

By Anonymous - 03/04/2015 18:43 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 980

You deserved it 2 511

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 908

You deserved it 7 781

Betrayal

By sisterly love - 14/08/2013 21:13 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 201

You deserved it 4 152

By Anonymous - 20/10/2013 06:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 7 098

By Anonymous - 17/06/2011 04:50 - Australia

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 418

You deserved it 3 022

christina3466 17

Monday 25 August 2014 5:18

Maybe Justin Bieber will hire you.

annarcheer 19

Monday 25 August 2014 5:18

Oh my gosh that is so rude.

Comments

Scoutman 5

Tuesday 26 August 2014 0:12

Time to put "spend six months in a body cast" on her resume

msnique1 5

Tuesday 26 August 2014 1:44

I would've probably had to choke her out

tonyfan00 38

Tuesday 26 August 2014 5:06

Time to break out the duct tape...

CommanderWoof 10

Tuesday 26 August 2014 5:26

I am sorry, but YDI. There is no excuse for not proof-reading/merely checking your resume before sending it to each employer.

MCIC 1

Tuesday 26 August 2014 5:35

HA. LOL

globalgirly33 2

Tuesday 26 August 2014 6:19

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that "attention to detail" wasn't in your highlighted skillset...

mkayden 23

Tuesday 26 August 2014 19:12

That's so ****** up, yet hilarious.

twodotgirl 8

Wednesday 27 August 2014 4:46

ur sister is a bitch

crazycly 7

Wednesday 27 August 2014 13:05

I'm with #123 also. Total YDI!

Sniper_Chick4110 20

Thursday 28 August 2014 6:06

I have a sister, we do pranks like this on each other and our parents all the time, even now, living out of home. I love that cheeky quality in people. Hope you didn't miss out on a job you really wanted, but honestly if you want something that bad YDI for not double checking and editing your own resume before sending.