Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I...

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 204

You deserved it 19 443

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Same thing different taste

Choking hazard

By notsexy - 09/05/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 086

You deserved it 83 379

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 505

You deserved it 59 416

By welted - 01/01/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 211

You deserved it 4 235

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 6 794

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 308

By katie - 23/08/2019 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 3 839

Mood ruiner

By Skittles - 13/08/2017 20:00

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 836

You deserved it 1 297

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 889

You deserved it 4 882

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 924

You deserved it 74 549

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

metallica_wins 20

Monday 18 November 2013 18:58

At least you'd make it on 1000 Ways To Die.

dantee2005 33

Monday 18 November 2013 18:58

Well, nothing for me to say "cockcicle" says it all

Comments

misUnderstood23 9

Saturday 23 November 2013 22:10

It was cold? Cocksicle?

KayleeFrye 39

Sunday 24 November 2013 17:31

I can't believe there are so many morons who keep asking why someone would use a condom for oral sex. Most STI's can be transferred through oral contact as well as intercourse. Good on you, OP, for being safe!

Jay_rdgz 6

Thursday 28 November 2013 4:48

Haha that's my favorite flavor yum

Ugi 26

Monday 2 December 2013 17:48

Sorry you nearly choked, but if you liked them, and I'm prepared to bet he enjoyed it, then in the long-run everybody wins!

Acidburn6661 5

Tuesday 7 January 2014 0:32

you aren't supposed to suck on his d with that flavored condom.. its meant for the guy to eat you out..

Capt_Colorz 8

Saturday 15 February 2014 17:34

Ain't nothing wring with that

Hyorin_fml 2

Sunday 16 February 2014 4:46

Hmm might as well go really fancy and do something like a creme brulé flavored condom

fictionaldiary 11

Wednesday 7 May 2014 15:08

You're not supposed to put the condom in your mouth you idiot. It's for having vaginal sex, and then it leaves flavouring on the penis for when you go down on him afterwards.