Kids: Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa... - FML

By crazycora - 13/12/2010 19:32 - Belgium

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 519

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Julie - 25/12/2012 03:20 - United States - East Brunswick

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 198

You deserved it 2 783

By treeless - 24/12/2011 08:11 - Canada

Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 881

You deserved it 2 391

By wheatsnake - 08/10/2009 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 172

You deserved it 2 815

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 937

You deserved it 1 272

By fuckMYlife94321 - 26/04/2009 16:21 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 864

You deserved it 13 758

By dwhite032 - 06/06/2011 07:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 481

You deserved it 6 843

By pillowless - 13/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 2 403

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 125

You deserved it 3 544

Bye gifts

By Anonymous - 12/12/2018 08:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it seemed like a great day. Right up until the point to where I accidentally damaged a friend's MacBook Pro. Not only do I have to pay for it, but the only way I'll be able to afford it is by returning every single Christmas gift I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 480

You deserved it 676

Oddly specific

By Angry and Confused - 29/06/2013 09:55 - United States - Reno

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 168

You deserved it 2 956

Next

Top comments

DahkLohd 4

Monday 13 December 2010 22:59

So you were naughty, not nice? FYL

Fortuitous 0

Monday 13 December 2010 22:58

Someone was a bad, bad mother this year. :)

Comments

DakotaCat 4

Monday 13 December 2010 23:19

Maybe he thought they were milk & cookies?

zp5 4

Monday 13 December 2010 23:25

Did you leave him some cookies and milk?

PiMpMySaLaD 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 1:51

they should check there house to see if there gone

WizzyDude123 4

Monday 13 December 2010 23:25

LMAO Next Friday shit right there.

Filitov 0

Monday 13 December 2010 23:27

And now you know how Santa's elves REALLY get all of the presents in time.

DocBastard 38

Monday 13 December 2010 23:31

"All cars, all cars, be on the lookout for a white, obese male, 5 feet 8, white beard, red suit, driving a sleigh. Known accomplices include a group of midgets wearing green suits and funny shoes. May have fierce reindeer as bodyguards. Considered armed and extremely dangerous. Be good, for goodness sake."

so_unlucky89765 4

Tuesday 14 December 2010 4:37

Haha thanks for makin me laugh!! :D

MuchDance90s 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 8:48

that's such "dad" humour love it

anahlicious 10

Tuesday 14 December 2010 16:33

lmao

RX_Paul 0

Monday 13 December 2010 23:39

Your kids are very brand specific when it comes to Apple products.

FYLDeep 25

Monday 13 December 2010 23:52

Somebody probably saw you with that MacBook Air and figured that you must have plenty of money to spend on useless items, thus making you a good candidate to steal from.

FYLDeep 25

Monday 13 December 2010 23:56

Candidate*

FailVader 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 6:42

^

meliannoo 5

Tuesday 14 December 2010 0:32

Sorry but, Santa turns into Anti-Santa if you don't leave milk and cookies. Better get the good cookies and milk next time. JK seriously though, this must have been awful, just be glad your kids are safe.

Xavi89 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 0:36

sounds like you need Craig and day day to run santa ass down.

Ninjafriends 1

Tuesday 14 December 2010 0:52

I'm sorry if this seems rude, but you've really missed the obvious. As Santa is not real, he couldn't be the culprit. However, your children were in your house while this whole incident occurred. Anyone could see right through their childish alibi. They've sold your things for drug money.

Bawxy 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 5:50

*slow collective applause*

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The Top

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 186

You deserved it 3 124

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 1

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Today, I realised that when my husband is telling our boys off, he can’t think of what to say so he just steals lines from TV shows. This afternoon he told them, “Have you lost your minds? Because I’ll help you find them!” and, “I’ll be on your tails like a hot wind!” Both phrases are from The Office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 116

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 824

You deserved it 52 591

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 286

You deserved it 11 180

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 191

You deserved it 44 925

Today, I was supposed to attend my best friend's funeral. When I asked my boss for time off, she actually said friends don't justify having the day off, unlike say a blood relative. My boss is autistic, so she struggles to understand certain things, but even for her that was a real prick thing to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 267

Today, I sold my wife's old car because I bought her a newer and nicer one. On the way back home from the sale, the transmission went out in her new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 278