Love: Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 961

You deserved it 3 686

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 91

Smashed

By Mr. Headshot - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 147

You deserved it 3 613

Great idea

By UnluckyLatina - 22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 666

You deserved it 12 262

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 3 316

By ilikecake - 29/05/2009 11:12 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 383

You deserved it 53 411

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 909

You deserved it 39 463

That blows

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 23:30

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 190

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 591

By Hotsauce887 - 29/03/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 247

You deserved it 25 650

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 10:40 - Australia

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 924

You deserved it 36 636

Next

Top comments

LiznessMonster 9

Sunday 16 January 2011 13:43

(Boyfriend's Log, Entry No. 224) |Homicide Attempt 1 = Failure, will try again tomorrow.| "Honey what's that?" "Um....nothing."

k3rslc 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:38

OUCH, how smart of him. Hope you didn't have burns. :S Btw. Was the cake good anyway? Happy Birthday. LOL.

Comments

Asherley 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:33

ouch! D: sorry OP

novair 5

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:41

it was.

GreatGeak 8

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:56

ROFL!! Ahaha!

skiier4life 1

Sunday 16 January 2011 10:02

hah, that's a BURN!!!!! are I clever? tee hee!

darkaqua3498 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 12:17

omg if it was my bf who did that I'd dump him or not talk to him for a while, or slap him across the face.

WallyTheWombat 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 14:26

OP, next time you go down on him, use teeth, I heard he likes that. And when he says he's almost there, stop and don't continue till he agrees to do the dishes for a month.

Alanah101 0

Monday 17 January 2011 2:27

How funny. I like the suggestion #46.

BigEV 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:33

Well, I don't think you would have caused a scene in front of the guests anyway.

percawesome 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 12:44

Well, isn't that just the icing on the cake?

flybye 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 12:50

Nailed it!!!

talktomandybaby 8

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:22

42, winn

IcyHell 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:36

He should have filmed it.

cali4eva 12

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:37

She could get seriously injured!

k3rslc 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:38

OUCH, how smart of him. Hope you didn't have burns. :S Btw. Was the cake good anyway? Happy Birthday. LOL.

XxKyttixX 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:41

Damn ow! I can't imagine what he was thinking, in what universe would that be a good idea?

Ace_of_Diamonds 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:42

Bet he has shoved that face somewhere else to. That sucks though that he'd do that.

emoooze 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:44

bullshit

scottovious 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:55

I agree completely.

xStarKillerx 4

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:44

How else was he going to put the candles out?

hellokimmiee 5

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:47

the real problem is, how old are you? the older you are, the more i feel sorry for the burn :)

bman134 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:54

well he was right

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The Top

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 639

You deserved it 2 340

Today, I tried to suspend a junior accountant for turning up to work late and stoned three separate times. Turns out his uncle is a part owner of the business, so the accountant got to smile his smug little grin as I got yelled at for not minding my own business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 187

The Top

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 026

You deserved it 1 710

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 263

You deserved it 47 306

Today, my bandmates showed up to our gig drunk. Our drummer kept losing the rhythm and the lead guitarist was more concerned about staying drunk than playing the right notes. In the middle of a song, they both gave up, put down their instruments, and kept sipping a beer, while at least cheering me on while I finished it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 128

Today, a guy sent me, “I miss you.” I invited him to come over for a movie, but he then said, “I’m down for that, but I expect you to hook up with me.” I guess that’s all I’m good for? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 234

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 662

You deserved it 15 750

Today, I was arguing with my husband and he screamed at me to the point of tears. He asked, “Why are you crying? Last night we had rough sex where I spanked you, threw you around in bed, called you names, and you enjoyed that shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 373