Miscellaneous: Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted... - FML

By Anonymous - 06/03/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 204

You deserved it 381

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Same thing different taste

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 313

You deserved it 8 360

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 008

You deserved it 13 610

Silly idiot

By Heather - 04/03/2010 12:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 3 683

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my landlady decided to fix the leak in my room. Her solution was repainting the ceiling. Now not only is my room still wet but it now reeks of paint thinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 640

You deserved it 1 993

By Sickasadog - 06/02/2017 16:00 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 748

You deserved it 680

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 141

You deserved it 2 691

Geyser Söze

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 2 040

By deeenalynn - 18/07/2011 16:22 - Canada

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875

You deserved it 4 287

Taint

By PaintedBum - 11/03/2019 18:00

Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 017

You deserved it 389

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 2 363

Next

Top comments

Dide9872 19

Monday 6 March 2017 18:35

That's awful, but I'm a little curious what that would look like when it dries.

Tripartita 44

Monday 6 March 2017 18:11

Just tell all who see it that you're a huge Jackson Pollock fan. They'll be envious of your amazing tribute.

Comments

species4872 19

Tuesday 7 March 2017 5:10

Feature wall.

clair_brodie 35

Wednesday 8 March 2017 5:50

Totally could have done with out the gif. (I know it was not the poster but the website but UGH)

lil_miss_aries 4

Wednesday 8 March 2017 15:52

Hahaha lovin' the Team America gif!

Vermonster94 1

Wednesday 8 March 2017 23:01

Let it dry and sell it as fine art, people will pay millions for what I assume that looks like.

HEnRyEdwardsIII 15

Thursday 9 March 2017 23:54

Hey, look at the bright side, now you can either take this great opportunity to repaint to a color that doesn't induce vomiting or enjoy the new textured finish.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 12 March 2017 6:22

Awwww, disgusting! Also, I don't appreciate seeing that gif. If I see puke, I end up puking, too. So thanks for that.

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The Top

Today, my son told me not to be silly, because things like the Tooth Fairy and Santa don’t exist. He’s three years old. I guess we’ll just skip all the magical moments of his childhood I was looking forward to, and start the process of turning him into a soulless adult who doesn’t know how to have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 199

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 136

You deserved it 5 886

The Top

Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 82

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 962

You deserved it 6 317

Today, my beyond spoiled stepdaughter threw a massive fit, swearing she was going to sue her employer for discrimination after firing her. Her dumbass believed she could take her dog to work with her, and the company couldn’t legally ask if it was a service animal or not. She worked at McDonald’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 143

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 763

You deserved it 4 138

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 202

You deserved it 2 092

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 429

You deserved it 2 592