Miscellaneous: Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends...

By no_hullabalo - 04/09/2009 14:50 - Taiwan

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 827

You deserved it 3 469

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 685

You deserved it 12 508

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 130

You deserved it 6 203

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 104

Welcome to the danger zone

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 22:00

Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 306

By paymeinhugs - 17/03/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 525

You deserved it 6 338

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 39 496

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 481

You deserved it 4 045

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 119

By canadiankc - 04/06/2009 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 407

You deserved it 8 554

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 716

You deserved it 26 806

Kozzy333 0

Friday 4 September 2009 20:13

It's funny when it doesn't happen to you.

djb23 0

Friday 4 September 2009 20:26

haha i can picture all the taiwanese girls "OOO HEEHEEHEEE IS SO SMAU!!"

Comments

MoobyTheCow 2

Friday 4 September 2009 21:36

Your friends were right.

proud_liberal 0

Friday 4 September 2009 21:44

your friends were right

Man_person 0

Friday 4 September 2009 21:49

your friends were right

Calaura9 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:04

You're friends were right

_Noon_ 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:09

Wow, you are beyond stupid for repeating that sentence using you're instead of your, which at least the other two repeaters did.

turboawesome88 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 1:31

Yeah, how dare she not piss on the English language with her cursed correct spelling!

I_Piss_Glitter 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 2:31

That spelling means 'you are' not the possessive 'your'. It is wrong in context. Think before speaking...er...typing.

katsoplat 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:24

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loveeisnott 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:38

you're actually #38, douche bag

Person1233 12

Friday 4 September 2009 22:42

People dont care about First comment anymore. 69th is all the rage.

katsoplat 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 0:00

you dont hafta be mean

Charlesdenfreude 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:54

I love your friends.

FSBull 0

Friday 4 September 2009 23:24

There is a porpoise with a new pair of undies.

reidtruett 0

Friday 4 September 2009 23:47

this is yet another reason why guys wear boxers under their bathing suit.

movies12 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 0:02

I'm sure some of the girls on the beach were getting a thrill out of it.

blah123blah 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 0:29

Wasn't the only thing that dangled there.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Gross Toilet Parenting Kids Awkward Drugs Grandparents Work Love Social Media Health Death Money Miscellaneous Proposal Family Underwear Clothes Intimacy Sexting Transportation Cars Annoying Funerals Food Relatable Diets Moving home Geek

The Top

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 046

You deserved it 7 251

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 365

You deserved it 9 927

The Top

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 150

You deserved it 3 739

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 352

You deserved it 4 506

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 710

You deserved it 2 575

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 805

You deserved it 3 512

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells, "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 067

You deserved it 1 349

Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was going on, so I had two choices: say that I was sick or tell the truth. It’s been an hour since my mom started trying to give me a suppository to cure my “indigestion”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 385