Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a...

By BadassNinja - 05/09/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 798

You deserved it 51 095

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Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 92

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 123

You deserved it 15 178

By Anonymous - 23/03/2012 23:51 - United States - Meredith

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 847

You deserved it 32 925

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 088

You deserved it 3 661

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 619

You deserved it 36 070

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 052

You deserved it 5 407

By looke27 - 13/11/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 276

You deserved it 37 572

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 624

You deserved it 19 519

Power move

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 22:02

Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 1 765

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 789

You deserved it 81 425

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:07

"Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching...." YDI.

shostakovich 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:06

Hmm... I wonder whose fault this is?

Comments

shostakovich 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:06

Hmm... I wonder whose fault this is?

tpag3r 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 3:23

you deserve it for trying to ninja the wall. everyone knows concrete beats ninja....silly fag

ReasonsToFly 0

Monday 7 September 2009 4:08

Not to mention the fact that he would have to pay for the damages to whoever's property the wall belonged to. ******* ******.

slack3r9 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:27

ya know thats why they call it sheet rock right? YDI

mayhem372 8

Sunday 27 March 2011 20:16

I blame society

mayhem372 8

Sunday 27 March 2011 20:18

and who said it was a wall? he said drywall so that could mean he found a sheet layin around somewhere

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:07

"Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching...." YDI.

fmlfmlfml15 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:51

toxi ftw!! and OP, im surprised you still have the girl

Julioyobaby 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 3:37

AGREED! LMAO.

Alexgoesfml 3

Sunday 6 September 2009 15:32

#2 exactly what I was thinking. Some guys and their man-ego.

Gimmedat 0

Monday 31 May 2010 5:06

Let's revise that a bit toxi. "Today, I tried to impress..." YDI. yeah, right there.

sucks4you5 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:09

ydi

BadLuckTuck 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:12

That's the lamest way to impress a girl. It just makes you look like a douchebag.

Monado 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:18

Yeah, because the girl would definitely be impressed about some idiot who likes to be violent.

Prendergast 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:19

today I thought my girlfriend would be impressed that I was able punch something. ydi

epicfail13337 4

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:22

o.o At least she didn't break up with you.

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:22

9th! but srsly ur a moron for doing that why would you!?!?! thats not impressive at all

eyeheart87 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:25

Uh, if shes already your girlfriend why would you feel the need to impress her again ?

liveitupx 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:26

Tomorrow you can start punching random people, see if she thinks thats impressive.

Holy_Crap_A_Wolf 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:58

^^^ Ftw.

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Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 118

Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document for the study abroad program that I'd applied for, which was due in a few days. Just as the envelope slipped out of my hand and into the mail box, I caught a glimpse of the upper right corner where there was supposed to be a stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 322

You deserved it 39 289

The Top

Today, my parents were arguing about their relationship. My mom, who is very Christian, yells at my dad for watching porn. My dad responds, "Of course I watch porn, I've told you! I have shown you!" He is also the one who stressed to me at a very young age that porn is immoral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923

You deserved it 177

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 566

You deserved it 11 401

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 429

You deserved it 4 435

Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 840

You deserved it 594

Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 706

You deserved it 953

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 482

You deserved it 5 020

Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

Power move

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