Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/10/2015 21:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 369

You deserved it 8 527

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Same thing different taste

Manchild

By lilshoobydoo14 - 15/10/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 4 333

By Person - 11/11/2016 02:04

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that would be on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 447

You deserved it 2 237

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 460

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 554

You deserved it 571

Smart move

By Triedtobecool - 06/04/2009 02:22 - Canada

Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 972

You deserved it 99 934

Self report

By Anonymous - 25/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 026

You deserved it 5 526

By letstradefamilies - 21/12/2015 21:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 372

You deserved it 1 835

By Robert - 28/12/2017 01:30

Today, my girlfriend's mother invited me to her 18th birthday. She lied about her age. I have been screwing a minor for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 761

You deserved it 2 089

By Michelle - 15/08/2011 08:15 - United States

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 204

You deserved it 23 185

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 322

Next

Top comments

fatman1970 25

Tuesday 20 October 2015 10:13

Your 24? Surely you have the right to meet whatever boys you want.

imnotc00l 10

Tuesday 20 October 2015 10:15

If your parents aren't allowing you to live your life it might be time to try and move out.

Comments

Richard6036 13

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:42

If you find your own place and able do it on your own back you would need to bribe anybody for anything you're getting a little old to be living with mommy and daddy

itsy4boi 14

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:42

YDI for not just saying 'shut up I'm 24'

Goblin182 26

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:51

You are 24 and have to "sneak out" behind you Mom's back to see a guy. Sorry, OP, that's all on you. YDI

SamSwebb 24

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:59

24? Strap on a pair

rec_chem 22

Tuesday 20 October 2015 15:01

If you keep acting like a teenager, your parents will continue to treat you like one.

mads_fml 7

Tuesday 20 October 2015 15:11

Is OP a boy with a conservative mom? Or is OP a girl with a batshit insane mom?

tigger3370 21

Tuesday 20 October 2015 15:57

If you're 24 and still living at home, then you deserve it.

WreckeRalph36 18

Tuesday 20 October 2015 16:18

Could be understandable of you were in So Cal lol

ShreddedGold 7

Tuesday 20 October 2015 16:22

At least you're buying him a good game

MalekiMaker99 22

Tuesday 20 October 2015 22:42

Is halo 5 even out?

TheGingerKang 3

Wednesday 21 October 2015 6:43

Next Tuesday it is.

bad_boyfriend 10

Tuesday 20 October 2015 16:26

If you're 24 it's your own fault. People can only control you at that age if you let them.

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The Top

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 1 355

Today, I had an argument with my husband. I’m a stay at home mom with a six, three, and one year-old. He insisted that we homeschool, so I literally never get a break. When I told him I need people to talk to, he replied, "Why? You talk to the kids all day!” God forbid I should interact with other adults. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 248

You deserved it 62 548

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 564

You deserved it 515

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 11 969

Today, after my mother, who was a loving and gentle soul, died, I’ve moved in permanently with my stepmom, whom I’d never met. Her very first words to me were, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am your mother now. If you make even ONE mistake, I will literally rip your fucking throat out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 93

Today, I put my notice in at work after being one of the top performers in my department. They didn’t even acknowledge my notice, they just sent me boxes to return my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 174

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 833

You deserved it 2 165