Money: Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

By Optimus_Prime97 - 03/05/2012 02:39 - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 934

You deserved it 31 803

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Same thing different taste

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 312

You deserved it 15 375

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 801

You deserved it 7 553

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 772

You deserved it 10 787

Cough up

By anbrown6 - 12/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 257

You deserved it 9 887

By Anonymous - 28/08/2011 11:29 - Australia

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 407

You deserved it 43 018

By Jayman223 - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Reno

Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 739

You deserved it 1 154

By Bubba - 23/09/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 670

You deserved it 11 074

By That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 405

You deserved it 3 619

By bels12 - 05/01/2010 05:15 - Australia

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 909

You deserved it 9 337

By Fish Breath - 03/06/2016 22:26 - United States - Bloomington

Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 032

You deserved it 4 117

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:19

How do you "accidentally" adopt a dolphin?

waresjake 3

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:23

You're going to get so many bitches with a dolphin

Comments

pablopoo 7

Thursday 3 May 2012 20:58

How is this a bad thing?????...

xeroblitz 3

Thursday 3 May 2012 21:32

What was the porpoise?

groupleader 7

Thursday 3 May 2012 21:34

Can you post your paypal info? I am wanting to adopt something too, maybe a hedgehog, but I'm a little short on funds this month.

challan 19

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:09

85- I just peed a little laughing at your comment. ;)

duckiegirl21 10

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:15

Look on the bright side, it will keep Tyra away.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:35

How in the world do you accidentally buy something, especially something like that? And does the option of returning merchandise not apply here? /facepalm

aclemsonfan01 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:48

i would say that that is a pretty good price for a dolphin!

kimby618 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:56

Lucky! ):

funnycraps 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 23:04

How the hell did you do that?

xxvwarrior 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 23:04

Now if you ever go to the aquarium you have someone to hold you back from that asshole dolphin, or better yet you can be its wingman.

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I agree, your life sucks 10 916

You deserved it 778

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I agree, your life sucks 31 634

You deserved it 3 771

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 750

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Same thing different taste

Cough up

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