Embarrassing, Restaurants and Miscellaneous: Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him...

By Clueless - 24/05/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 423

You deserved it 60 257

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Same thing different taste

By Kate - 17/10/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 677

You deserved it 22 924

By KN - 25/06/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 12 540

Need a bib?

By Anonymous - 15/08/2014 05:06 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 811

You deserved it 11 422

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 653

You deserved it 6 863

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 390

You deserved it 17 990

By militarywife2b - 14/12/2009 20:23 - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 738

You deserved it 2 177

Nice try

By Peel - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 046

You deserved it 7 860

By charishard - 04/05/2013 05:17 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 325

You deserved it 35 107

By mynameisarmpit - 15/11/2010 06:48

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 719

You deserved it 4 670

Near the knuckle

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 05:01

Today, as a waitress I served someone who was hoping their food would come back faster than expected. I replied, “Fingers crossed!” just for the person to show me they had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 116

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 24 May 2009 12:21

Kinda funny. What made you think it was for a high five? Have you never been out to eat before?

teentee401 36

Thursday 26 March 2015 4:31

Well doesn't the waiter usually pick up the plate, or say something? Instead of just holding their hand out in silence?

Comments

fuckzombies 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:49

If it was a *high* five then why did he put his hand *high* to pick up a ******* plate. IMO this is total bullshit

how_annoying 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:52

lol, I love a contreversial one

ch_kisama 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:55

you're a dumbass

coffeennicotine 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:57

#4, I agree. I come on here to laugh, not to get depressed. OP, you're just a dumb ass though. Seriously. No one does that.

iBleed 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:06

not an fml, but funny hahaha

MrJentipede 2

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:08

OP is a cool guy, I would high five you.

drummr777 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:12

I would have done the same thing.

Bassorandy 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:35

It's nice to see an FML that might actually have a shot at being real.

blue16 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:48

I agree with #4 and #42

MaddieMonster 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:49

hahaha # 2 = Win

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The Top

Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 775

You deserved it 2 719

Today, I had an argument with my husband. I’m a stay at home mom with a six, three, and one year-old. He insisted that we homeschool, so I literally never get a break. When I told him I need people to talk to, he replied, "Why? You talk to the kids all day!” God forbid I should interact with other adults. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by wasting so much paper. One of the girls in my class said, “No way! They use pandas to make paper?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 106

Today, it's been three months since i went to my GP for a swollen foot. She sent me to a rheumatologist, a pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, DNA testing and finally an X-ray, which revealed I've been walking around on a broken foot. By now, the two bones are grown together at weird angles, forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 181

You deserved it 2 078

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 948

You deserved it 7 053

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 645

You deserved it 9 529

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 964

You deserved it 6 130

Today, I know my grandma has been getting frail as she rapidly approaches the ripe old age of 80, but I had no idea it was so bad that she could break her arm by sneezing. When I tried to explain this to the ER doctors, they all started snickering. Yeah, I don't believe it either, doc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 87