Love: The bitch is back

The bitch is back

By thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289 742

You deserved it 143 216

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

New creepypasta just dropped

By oh_mylanta - 02/03/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 544

You deserved it 5 365

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 06:32 - Canada

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 931

You deserved it 3 039

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 378

You deserved it 17 355

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 201

You deserved it 4 580

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 497

You deserved it 4 224

By Anonymous - 16/09/2013 20:30

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 481

You deserved it 44 866

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 564

You deserved it 67 633

Never annoy the driver

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 14:00

Today, my husband went to pick my mom up from the airport, but apparently they got in one of their arguments on the way home, so he dumped her at a Starbucks and came home without her. He won’t even tell me which Starbucks, and when I rang her she gave useless directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 274

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 18:00

Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 4 535

leesh08 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:04

=[ that's so horrible!!

equinoxe_fml 2

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:24

divorce the bastard.

Comments

BeautyAndBrains 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 21:13

#9, he knows her name. He called her by the other woman's name! What a jackass, divorce!

AllieCat999 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 21:15

Two words. Divorce court.

keke_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 21:35

I agree with #7

Amkii 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 22:01

So you're married to him... how? Why? For how long? Divorce his sorry cheating ass today.

no_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:00

#36, i totally know! so many fml's are like that! i'm sorry.

PedanticBohemian 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:05

Been there, had that done to me. I agree with #2. Bonfires are fun.

Radical_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:31

sorry to hear that

dammn 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:51

shittt. divorce him !

sweetjosephine 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 1:02

Leave his cheating ass, and take al his stuff with you.

lemonkid44 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 1:20

Wow he is a royal asshole. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Divorce him

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The Top

Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 34

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 28

The Top

Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 678

Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 105

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my second child. This wouldn't be so bad if my son wasn't only 10 months old and my partner, the father of my children, hadn't been secretly seeing his ex wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 249

You deserved it 642

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 812

You deserved it 6 717

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 55 362

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 455

You deserved it 71 331