Weird, Creepy, Religion and Love: Oddball - FML

Oddball

By Iwtumn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Austria - Deutschlandsberg

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 461

You deserved it 7 335

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

Y'all need him in your heart

By guess I deserved that one... - 11/10/2022 08:00

Today, I flirted and swapped numbers with an attractive married man. Later, when I texted him, he sent me a picture of Jesus and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 841

By sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 159

You deserved it 3 807

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 717

You deserved it 6 794

By WhoaThere - 18/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 476

You deserved it 9 649

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 18/09/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 646

You deserved it 4 530

By Anonymous - 20/04/2012 01:26 - United States

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 751

You deserved it 4 030

By Nykole McAllister - 15/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 098

You deserved it 277

By Anon - 14/08/2016 10:58 - United States - Tracy

Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 475

You deserved it 1 377

By helprelou - 29/06/2016 22:12 - France - La Chevroli?re

Today, a guy who likes me a little too much, and who I asked to tone his advances down a little, sent me a message on Twitter, Facebook and by text message to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 400

You deserved it 1 033

Hello, I love you

By Anonymous - 13/04/2020 05:00

Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 346

Next

Top comments

r_bruce69 19

Friday 1 May 2015 0:24

pray for it to stop

Zelphoric 25

Friday 1 May 2015 0:24

"No! No! God please no! no! no! noooooooooo!" -Michael scott

Comments

yuno_gasai_fml 34

Friday 1 May 2015 9:46

I'd suggest not giving strangers your number in first place but why don't you block him then?

Dave_Davington 33

Friday 1 May 2015 9:59

I'd respond with pictures of Goatse and quotes from Nick Bate.

pandalover69 26

Friday 1 May 2015 10:16

If you find out he wasn't drunk and was being completely serious are you still gonna pursue that? If he's not drunk then you're not reading to much into them. Send him quotes from the satanic bible is he doesn't stop.

LKBogjnr1 2

Friday 1 May 2015 11:07

write back about the flying spaghetti monster and anything he says saying how silly it is use back on him about jesus and his god

Eco193 13

Friday 1 May 2015 11:10

send him pictures of Mexicans named Jesus

kenjenkei 32

Friday 1 May 2015 12:53

Match him text for text with pictures of dicks, of all shapes, sizes, colours, and types of venereal diseases.

guitarki 11

Friday 1 May 2015 15:27

For God so loved the world that he gave to man gonorrhea.

caitlin_mj 7

Friday 1 May 2015 13:08

Just send him pictures of broccoli with no explanation

DanCastellaneta 17

Saturday 2 May 2015 13:11

Praising broccoli. I am willing to bet cold hard cash that SOME civilization worshipped a vegetable.

DanCastellaneta 17

Friday 1 May 2015 13:20

That's "y'all motherfuckers need Jesus" to a whole new leve

vikky538 28

Friday 1 May 2015 14:09

Ask him how to pray to god stop that bullshit.

vikky538 28

Friday 1 May 2015 14:12

They best way stop those texts is to send a spoiler alert text. I am sure you will get a response other than quotes

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Keywords

Gross Toilet Poopoo peepee Awkward Drugs Parenting Kids Grandparents Love Work Health Social Media Death Money Miscellaneous Family Proposal Clothes Underwear Sexting Intimacy Cars Annoying Transportation Funerals Food Relatable Diets Moving home Geek

The Top

Today, I told my crush how I felt. He said, “Sorry, I don’t feel the same way. But you’re an amazing girl, and you deserve a guy who will treat you like a queen.” I asked him, “Well, why can’t you be that guy then?” He pretended to have a coughing fit and “suddenly remembered” he had to be somewhere and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 1 041

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 034

You deserved it 3 331

The Top

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 494

You deserved it 4 073

Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 018

You deserved it 14 102

Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 228

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 728

You deserved it 3 925

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 708

You deserved it 10 501

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 194

You deserved it 86 609