Love: Not cool

Not cool

By oprahahaha - 02/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 819

You deserved it 4 445

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Classic blunder

By Jake404 - 10/07/2023 00:02 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 106

Classic playa move

By lifesux - 31/12/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 460

You deserved it 3 832

By dateless - 21/09/2012 11:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 132

You deserved it 2 362

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 2 645

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 356

You deserved it 31 723

By Anonymous - 06/01/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 504

You deserved it 4 025

By single - 20/10/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 059

You deserved it 3 695

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 2 792

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 232

By Anonycunt - 27/07/2013 16:30 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 315

You deserved it 4 002

Zic_fml 7

Monday 2 March 2009 13:09

Needless to say, blind dates aren't really the most convenient way to get off.

Paigeth 0

Monday 2 March 2009 13:25

You could've gone to Tim Hortons. ( :

Comments

roNs 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 6:09

Wow haha that's pretty owned :-P

thnksfrthemmrs 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 2:41

are you sure the cup didn't say tim with the last name hortons? if so, i think you stood someone else up =P

nieska18 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 0:38

lol imagine if its just a tim hortons cup and she thought he was tim just cause he was holding a tim hortons cup. cooolness.

Moooooo_fml 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 11:09

Tim isn't an uncommon name. There can be more than one guy named Tim.

person9038 7

Sunday 6 March 2011 17:05

were u at tim hortons?

SMGnow 0

Monday 7 March 2011 14:53

Tim hortons Canada

dementiarock11 0

Friday 22 April 2011 7:40

The code of Tim's demand the he get his ass kicked.

lickerassholes 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 20:17

you must be **** ugly

Alyta 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 23:53

Aw he is an asshole! You will find a better date! F* his life!!!

thatEMOkid112233 1

Wednesday 17 August 2011 6:32

oh shit that was u o.o lol jk

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Fish Camping Food Miscellaneous Vegan Health Holidays Ableism Video games Geek Gamers Love Relatable Painful Parents Customers Tattoos Mental health Annoying Bikes Motorbike Transportation Accident Art Concert Money Kids

The Top

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 486

You deserved it 12 051

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 153

The Top

Today, my crush has been acting weird around me with his best friend. He's been totally avoiding me. I talked to his best friend and I asked about the vibe change, and if they're mad at me. He acted a little surprised and casually said, "No… I mean I did shit-talk you for like two hours yesterday, but other than that we're chill." FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 89

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 453

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 572

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 6 829

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 165

You deserved it 3 324

Today, I was at the gym, well intent on trying a new workout class. I was the only person in the class and the instructor was clearly disappointed. He reluctantly gave me the class but I could tell he was hating the whole experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 112