Kids: Get on with it

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 371

You deserved it 3 172

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 08:00

Today, my crazed and very hormonal pregnant mother told me that I should get pregnant too, so that we can be "preggo buddies." I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 124

Just no, stop

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 00:00

Today, I’m on my fifth miscarriage in nine years so we’ve had to decide to stop trying. Ever since we stopped, my mother in law is blaming me for giving her no grand-babies and uses every opportunity to try convince my husband to divorce me and marry a real, “fertile” woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 111

By lovekills99 - 19/01/2009 17:59 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 661

You deserved it 4 312

The matchmaker

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 07:30

Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 135

It's not a phase!

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 07:59

Today, despite 18 years of marriage and two kids together, my father-in-law still insists my wife will one day grow up, realise I was the result of some rebellious phase she’s going through, divorce me and marry a decent boy from her hometown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 75

Love is all around

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 11:33 - Romania

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm "a self-absorbed bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 692

You deserved it 8 944

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 386

You deserved it 3 366

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 02:12 - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 241

You deserved it 3 316

**** the lifescript

By Angela - 08/03/2021 00:28 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my twice-divorced boomer mother made another passive-aggressive remark about my partner and I not being married, despite our 13-year relationship. What is this, 1950? We don't care about marriage, deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 264

Vessels

By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 747

You deserved it 3 113

needleinmypants_fml 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:50

they just want granchildren before they die. FYL

Asario 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:51

she just wants you to supply her with more food. didnt you realize all the neighbors newborns dissapeared?

Comments

jmac317 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:49

sorry but haha wttfff

MaximilianMarche 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 11:34

best parents ever. sucks for u op

fatfatgoeshome 8

Wednesday 12 January 2011 22:20

Tell her you're infertile. That should get her to shut up.

needleinmypants_fml 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:50

they just want granchildren before they die. FYL

iSitt 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 5:47

they want you to go through what they went through with you Also, a husband will agree with his wife if he knows what's good for him.

zivlaks 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 9:31

if he's a pussy.

macskapingvin 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 11:10

They don't have some legal right to be given grandchildren.

zacharytk72 5

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:51

:p fyl

FYLminerocks 7

Wednesday 12 January 2011 7:32

Why? This is my gameplan.

bman134 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:51

I volunteer to sleep with you

lulzaroonie 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 10:11

I volunteer you to not offer your sexual services to married anonymous women over the Internet :D

Asario 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:51

she just wants you to supply her with more food. didnt you realize all the neighbors newborns dissapeared?

nobodyshearing 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:53

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Phustercluck 11

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:19

I don't think that's gold-digging. I'm pretty sure what she meant by "winner" was the one that got her pregnant, hence the "sleeping around till pregnant" part.